You must have a hidden little black book which you pull out for special occasions--just like this!
Turn to chapter 11
What To Do When Married People Want To Set You Up On A Blind Date!
After reading the chapter, take a swig of a dry martini to calm your nerves. The cool sip of vodka will ease the hurtful feelings that the married people impose upon you. You know how they make you feel you are an outcast just because you are single! Don't these married people know they've taken "all" the good guys, hot guys, rich guys,normal guys, respectful guys, decent guys and marrying guys! Whose left? So arm yourself with this black book & fuel to help you get out of this new blind date set up! Do one or more of the following:
1. Tell them you have to go out of town. Remember if your friends start to say, "He's really nice." Blurt out, "I'm going out of town!" You don't need to be specific and tell them how long you'll be gone. But it is truthful that going to Santa Monica from Los Angeles is out of town. And Queens is out of town from the Upper West Side and so on and so forth.
2. Start coughing and wheezing and mention that you might have caught the bug going around that was on the news. (There is always some new highly contagious bug going around on the news)
3. Ask her your married friend would she sleep with the guy! If she gives you the face that screams no-- run! You might want to drink a couple of martini's first before you ask this question.
4. Inform your married friend who is setting you up with "their nice" friend that you have been invited to Brad Pitt's charity party. They wouldn't want to be responsible for a. Brad Pitt falling in love with you or b. Brad Pitt adopting you. (after all suddenly becoming rich has benefits as they are your best "married" friends who should not interfere with this opportunity!)
5. Your dog is lost and you must find him.
6. You've met the guy of your dreams and he'll be jealous. (Hey, you had a dream of a guy so just because he hasn't manifested yet doesn't mean he doesn't exist! And your dream guy would not want you to go on this miserable blind date. But he definitely would not be jealous.
7.Since no one will believe #6 say #7. Tell your married friends that you have been set up by your other married friends so you wouldn't want to waste this potential bachelor until a later date. (A much later date as in never!) ***Toast to success at this point if you are free and single.**
8. You won a cruise to the South of France and want to know if they can come for a month. (No one can take off for 1 month at the spur of the moment so you'll be free of date interference for 1 month)
9. You are being approached for a reality show about being single so your contract says you need to be single. (Believable as everyone and their mother have a reality show now!)
10. Your book publisher of "The Single Girl Handbook" demands you stay single for a year to write a sequel help all the singletons get through the single years. What would they do if you were happily married. You'd forget to ease their pain and make them laugh. Fans are loyal, sweet and have been with you all these years. Your friends should have tears in their eyes and you should win an academy award and be home sweet single home!
A toast to the single life until Mr. Right comes along!
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